“How can I improve my self-esteem?” Ana asked herself this question without finding the answer. Ana had been feeling down and nervous for a long time. It all started when she ended her previous relationship, a toxic relationship in which she often had feelings of inferiority and guilt. When she saw that this situation was getting harder and that the question was spinning in her head, she decided to seek help because she didn’t know what was wrong with her. Ana had never sought psychological help because she was embarrassed to explain her most intimate problems to someone else. She didn’t seem capable.
Searching the Internet, after many results, which didn’t really help her much, Ana found the solution: an online therapist. Thanks to online therapy and psychology advice for self-esteem, she has learned new habits and tools that have improved her self-confidence.
From low self-esteem to self-confidence
Therapist(T): Ana, how do you feel?
Ana (A): I feel sad and nervous. I can’t sleep well at night and I usually wake up very tired. I think everyone has a more interesting life than I do. It’s been a while since I’ve done anything that motivates me. I see that I get older, that time goes by and I haven’t achieved anything. Everything that comes to mind about me is negative, it takes away my strength to move forward and I feel a great fear of failure. I just want to know how to improve my self-esteem and start feeling better.
How to improve my self-esteem in 10 steps
T: We can change very small things in our daily lives to feel a little better, Ana. Things that increase our self-esteem, independence and self-concept, using the power of emotional intelligence for self-esteem. Your low self-esteem is holding you back from believing that you can do these things well, but you can.
A: What can I do to feel better? I try to do things, but none of them has worked.
T: I’m going to give you 10 tips that can help you in your daily routine. For example, sport is very important for self-esteem. Do you do any?
A: I’ve always liked dancing and I’ve thought about signing up for dance classes, but I don’t think I would do well.
T: It’s hard to know if you don’t try. It’s better not to base your thoughts on anticipations about the future. If you don’t try it, you’ll always be left with the doubt, won’t you?
A: Yes, I suppose so.
#1.-To do sport or to take a small daily walk
T: So, you can start by attending a dance class once a week. And you could go out for a little walk too instead of driving to work. Are you very far from work?
A: No. Twenty minutes from home. But I take the car, I’m lazy walking.
#2.-Go to bed earlier
T: Let’s put laziness aside for a few days. Try leaving the car parked and walking to and from work. Let’s see how you feel. It is also important that, for example, you try to go to bed earlier. You’ve told me that you usually watch TV on the sofa until two or three in the morning, and because you get up early, you’re tired.
#3.- Breakfast is important
A: I don’t understand how that can make me feel better. I don’t usually feel like it. I don’t want to learn how to eat breakfast, I just want to know how to improve my self-esteem.
T: Breakfast will give you strength. The body needs nutrients to feel strong, especially in the morning. If you wake up tired, leave just in time, running and without breakfast the beginning of the day is very stressful. Try waking up this week 20 minutes early to have a quiet breakfast and in the next session, we’ll talk about how you’ve been doing.
#4.- Talk to your friends, don’t isolate yourself.
A: The worst time is when I get home at night and I feel lonely, I feel that I don’t have anyone because I don’t deserve anyone, I’m too boring and uninteresting.
T: Have you tried calling a friend to meet after work? You say that you leave work at six o’clock in the afternoon, give yourself time to have a drink sometime and then quietly have dinner at home.
A: No, I never tell people to meet. I think I bother them and they’ll say no or yes for commitment.
T: Try this week, meet a friend for a drink without those negative thoughts in your head. It will be a good practice.
T: Also, it would be good if you tidy up your closet, order will make you feel better. It will keep you away from chaos and comfort you.
#6.- Speak affectionately and eliminate negative words from your vocabulary.
T: Change your negative messages to positive, treat yourself well, Ana. We often complain about how hard others are on us, but most of the time there is no one more critical than yourself.
#7.- Avoid comparing yourself with others
T: Comparisons make us feel like we’re less all the time. We all have different capabilities and abilities but yours don’t have to be inferior.
A: But comparing myself to others is inevitable, everyone is better than me.
T: Analyze that. How are they better than you? Why do you think they are? How do you feel less capable? Respect for yourself is very important and is a key point for self-confidence. Begin to treat yourself as a special and unique being.
#8.- Forgive yourself and accept yourself as you are.
T: Accept yourself as you are, that’s the basis of healthy self-esteem. You have a series of virtues and defects like everyone else, the effective thing is that you lean on the former and work the latter so that you are not prevented from advancing.
#9.- Set yourself realistic goals
T: Sometimes setting unattainable goals undermines our self-esteem by not being able to achieve them. This is not an inability but a failure to set goals realistically.
#10.-“Feed yourself” with positive messages
T: Think of your strengths and all you’ve been able to achieve. Spend time thinking about who you are and what you would like to change. For this it is important that you assume and forgive your mistakes, so you can advance in your personal development.
With these simple psychology tips for self-esteem, Ana improved a lot. Working on her self-esteem problems has made her dare to take on new challenges. Little by little she gained control of her life again and improved her level of well-being thanks to the help of an online therapist.
If you want to improve your level of well-being, in TherapyChat we can help you. We are international leaders in online psychology and we have the right therapist for you.